Scientists Discover New Particles

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All of humanity has been waiting for a discovery such as the one occurring earlier today by world-reknown scientist Cooter.  The world is forever changed.  Grab your panties, smoke your cheebies and pick your boogies because this IS the dumbest shit you will read today!

Pooton poo particle

A pooton is a seriously radioactive particle (much like a queefon), originating from the rings of uranis.  Pootons are parasites which spend their lives transitioning between being airborne and being butt-stuck to an unsuspecting host.  People are immune to their own pootons.  But when coming from a known source, pootons are the brown that turn your frown upside down.  Did you know thousands of smaller fartons orbit every pooton?  Pootons and fartons have been devastating the universe since the beginning of time.  Pootons are typically deployed in stealth, and are most associated with the phrase “silent but deadly“.

A farton is the smallest known particle found within a fart (not to be confused with a pooton). Being the nastiest smelling thing in the universe (so much worse than a queefon), a farton can be found lingering everywhere on earth (even on you). A farton is also the fastest particle in the cosmos as it can tear right through your pants without ripping them!

A farton is the smallest known particle found within a fart (not to be confused with a pooton).  Being the nastiest smelling thing in the universe (so much worse than a queefon), a farton can be found lingering everywhere on earth (especially on the fingers of people sitting at computer desks and ones browsing on their mobile phone right now).  A farton is also the fastest particle in the cosmos as it can tear right through your pants without ripping them!  Now that’s fast!

A queefon is a super-raunchy particle that gives a queef it's queefiness. A queefon is the second nastiest smelling thing in the universe (second only to a farton) and can be easily found terrorizing every panty on the planet (and clinging to nose hairs of dudes who get laid). A queefon is just as radioactive as a pooton

A queefon is a super-raunchy particle that gives a queef it’s queefiness.  A queefon is the second nastiest smelling thing in the universe (second only to a farton) and can be easily found terrorizing every panty on the planet (and clinging to nose hairs of dudes who get laid).  Up close, queefons look super bitchy but most of them are just cross-eyed skanks.  Beware as queefons are just as radioactive as pootons.  Whatever you do, don’t ever make direct contact with a queefon!

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